To my dearest:
I didn't sleep well last night. All my mind is still about this thing, why and how could they cut speech so important like this. And I was also sad about our conversation stopped in the wrong point.
I won't say it's to against the Muslim religion, because as a Christian background gay man, I deeply understand how contradict it was inner myself long time ago. Therefore, I would like to tell you a story, a story about a boy who was 16 years old grow up in a church school. One day when this boy found he was attracted by the same sex boys, he was totally terrified. "I will go in the hell, I will burn by the fire, I'm sin, I'm immoral person." There was no hope for him, after day after day prayers, he still couldn't get any sign or message from hit God. He felt he was left, although everyday he sang for the God in the choir, every week he went to the church. There was still no hope.
So many years after, he met a female paster who told him "it's not a sin if you are a gay or lesbian. The most important is the relation between you and God. Interpretations are created by people. But what God tells you? He said I love you no matter who you are."
And one day, this boy on the way to the choir practice, he heard a voice and light from inside. That voice said, "Oh, my lovely child, you know I love you!" The boy was touched and cried and cried. From that moment he knew that God loves him and didn't leave him no matter he is gay or not.
For me, I believe that churches should bring and take people in not push them out. If you believe that there's a truely relation between you and God and no one can take it away. Then why can't you believe that some teachings from men might be wrong, the are pushing gays and lesbians out not taking them back? Is there any possible to open the dialogues inside the religion? If you don't believe this possible, how can you say you believe in God? How can you explain what God tells you directly but not from others?
And further more, if we just be quiet like this, are we trying to make this world better? I cannot, and I won't forgive myself when I am going to marry with someone I love but I leave others might be in similar situation in a difficult time. Can we just pursue our own happiness and say others it's not our business? It's not what we concern for? Then are we still in the goodness road in our lives? What will God say to us for our selfish?
Thus, I felt I was wrong to said that I was sorry to tell you those opinions. No, I'm not sorry for that because I know I'm doing something good for people like us. What I do is not to against the religion, but to earn the equal and just very very simple a respect as a human being! If there's one day Jr. ask us why can't we live in papa's country. I don't want to tell him or she that we are sorry and we didn't do anything for that. How can we face our child or to tell him this cruel fact just because we didn't do anything? I really really hope that you can understand this.
your love
